Okay, so I got two things for y’all. A layered file that you can download (you have to be a member) and a “He Said/She Said” between Colleen and I that I’d like you to weigh in on.
First, as some of you may recall from the most recent dekePod, I promised to include a layered version of the Madeover Airplane Bathroom Sign. You may recall this masterwork of modern art:
I might have even put it in
[ahem, that’s perjorative, deke—cw] terms, as in (and I believe this is an accurate quote): “and for you sickos who go in for this kinda thing, the full-resolution annotated layered file is available as a free download to registered members of deke.com.”
Well now it is. Click this graphic to download a ZIP file that will decompress into the layered PSD file that you, my dear beloved “sickos,” are looking for. Then choose Window > Layer Comps and click the right-pointing arrowhead to advance from one layered state to another.
All bits and pieces of this artwork come from microstock image vendor, iStockphoto. In particular, the hand comes to us from photographer Emrah Turudu and the gore from byllwill. The gangrene is all mine.
Second, I have a question for y’all to resolve. As you know, this is my site. But I just so happen to employ (and by that, I mean pay minimum wage for) the services of a super helpful but terribly unruly sidekick by the name of Colleen Wheeler who thinks she knows everything. So anyway, I and my marketing maven, Theresa Pulido, were putting together a media alert. (I know, we’re gettin’ so highfalutin around here! Look at us with our precious little noses in the air. WTF?) And we came up with this:
Well, my dear friend CW adamantly believes the first line of the headline should have been:
With fewer symbols in the ambiguous curse word (one for each letter in the offending word, which is shit BTW), and “in the Toilet” at the end. She believes this so fiercely we had to have a pitched 15-minute conversation on the topic. She’s all with the cadence and the poetry of the thing. (I’ll let her explain her impassioned reasoning.) Meanwhile, my training in The Humor Industry has taught me shorter is better. Then again, I mostly don’t give a @$&#.
But what do y’all think? I’m looking for this to turn into a mindless hot-topic free-for-all. Let’s see if we can rack up 105 comments.
Humoring Deke
Wish I could, but I gotta go with the flow (and the cadence) on this one. But more importantly, shouldn’t you figure out how to capitalize the first letter in the “amibuous swear word”? (I can’t believe that this was the post that got me to sign up for an account. Please don’t tell anyone!)
Spelling police: summons
Deke,
I don’t mean to make pejorative comments, but you are hereby warned that there is no such thing as a “projorative” term… :-)
The more, the merrier!!
I think &^$%#(* deke is #@$%*?> right on this @$#^.
Besides if I keep agreeing with Colleen all the time, people will think I’m soft on her :)
Projorative = Up with Joratives!
I like sickos! Hence “pro-jorative”!
See, I’m not misspellin’—I’m coining words here.
(That plus our spell-checker is mysteriously broken.)
Would spellchecker even know what you meant?
I would think your made up word would stump even a properly working spellchecker.
Sigh, to Set The Record Straight (Once Again)
First of all, my beloved “Fearless” Leader, you craftily undermined my “number of characters” argument by excluding the exclamation point from the #*@! ing example you used for “my” version. Everyone knows all swear words must end in ! if you really mean it. Thus the results of your crooked survey are skewed irrevocably, and your “edgy” persona is once again proved to be a sham.
Secondly, while I did mention scan and meter were improved by adding “in the toilet” (Which causes the reader to mentally emphasize “Don’t” and “@#$!” and “Toi-” which are all funnier words than “Toss”), the key benefit of my version is the $&@!ing irony: “in the toilet” being the precise location one should toss their #$@!.
Must I re-explain everything? Don’t you have a whole other list of menial sidekickery you require of me? @$&!ing thought so.
Listen to you curse like a #ß$&*@%! sailor
Albeit a cartoon one. Kind of like a racy Popeye or somethin’.
Misspellin’
Deke,
If that’s the case, keep on coinin’
Shows my commitment, Benevolent Emperor
Just want to show I’m worthy of you, my Master. How did you get that beta symbol in there? And you still have 8 characters. Are you thinking maybe there are 2 K’s?
Love and Kisses,
cw
Seven Words You Can Never Say On A Blog.
5hi7 Pi55 Fux0r Cun7 C0cksux0r3r M07h3rfux0r3r 7i75
A nod to George Carlin of course :-)
Miss C’s right
Yah, I think the ‘in the toilet’ bit gives it context and irony and the exclamation mark gives it verbal punch, plus it’s still short. Dekes version is too short, it’s almost just a random expletive; the kind of thing a drunk mad dude says to himself while wandering the streets. ;-) Which goes to show that Deke hiring her and tolerating this insubordination (tee-hee) was probably a good choice.
Nice one
Nice one, +1 comment to the tally.
Disparaging comment
Ha!
Both you and Colleen are wrong—the term is P-E-J-O-R-A-T-I-V-E, meaning disparaging or derogatory (Look that up in a real Dictionary—remember those—printed on paper, bound in a book, with a cover.)
Regardless, Deke—You’re the greatest Photoshop trainer anywhere, even if you can’t spell.
Shirley A Taylor
Editor Extraordinaire,
and Photoshop aficionado!
Hey, I’m a writer, CW’s an editor
Wut the hel du we know abut speling or dikshunarys?
Obviously, Shirley, we need to add you to the team.
But I like our misspellings. I think they’re cute. :-)
And CW admits she’s not that kind of editor
Just because I have “editor” in my title (well, it is my title, so I can define at will) doesn’t mean I know how to spell (as has been proven here many times.) I’ve long accepted that development (and author management, also proven here on occaision) is the right spot for me on the editorial continuum.
Did I spell that right?
“Occasion” is one of my spelling bêtes-noir (bête-noirs?) Yeah, if I can’t spell in English, how am I going to manage French?
So Sayeth the Soul
If you never give a @$&# , you’ll never be a @$&# .
Great article with so
Great article with so detailed written, I have enjoyed very much the reading, thanks for sharing
CS4 Channels & Masks one-on-one
Not sure if this is the right place to post this but I will _ Has anyone else had trouble opening the following file—-
Ancient doorway.psd found in Lesson 7 folder inside Lesson Files-PsCM 1on1. I get the following very un-
helpfull message from Photoshop “Could not complete your request because an unexpected end-of-file was
encountered”.
Hey nice article
Generating more interest towards telecommunications
I used to believe in happiness…
... Before I found this episode in my iTunes library. But then I watched it, and I thought to myself, “Well, gee- what’s the point in living if every airplane sign is going to be an undecipherable thing of pure horror?” Thank you so much, Deke.
My image of life has been forever tarnished.
Gore and Gangrene - not just for slashers!
I think this symbol rocks! Of course what the @$&# would I know – I am just a registered nurse and the gore and gangrene is right down my alley. I would love to see this posted somewhere in our hospital – like maybe the OR?! Keep the creations coming please!
Sabugosh, RN, deke.com/lynda.com fan, Photoshop amateur