Before it became about droplets, The Droplet Song was about you. It struck me that a really genuine love song — one that cared about you more than it cared about itself — would start off by thanking you for just being there. Hence, the first line I wrote is the first line I sing: “Let me thank you for checking out my thing.” Other love songs lament, they plead, they get all whiney and stupid and morbidly crybaby. Mine just tells it like it is: You’re awesome, thanks for stopping by, let’s stir some of that soulful shit, baby.

Somehow, I’m thinking that now is the perfect moment for an image of a preening seagull to interrupt my narrative:

It was when I (in my mind’s eye) saw my song’s love wrapped in liquid that the underlying meaning of the piece became apparent. Because, by then, the droplets were everywhere.

Which is why I crafted this article. Imagine for a moment that dekePod were a record album. Then imagine that anyone gives a crap about record albums anymore. In which case, The Droplet Song would be that heartbreaking “Sound of Silence”-meets-“Seasons in the Sun” track. Complete with 45 rpm and lyric sheet.

Here’s the 45 rpm (rendered as a 192 kbps MP3 file). Right-click, choose Save or Download, and copy to your various iPods. Cherish and know: It’s not about a Photoshop feature. Who cares about a Photoshop feature? It’s about you.

Meanwhile, here are the lyrics:

seagull sounds

First of all, let me thank you
for checking out my thing.
It’s a real privilege to have you here
listening to me (ha!) sing.
Wanna share a special technique
wings flap
works in Photoshop.
Create yourself a time-saving multi-step action.
Save it as a droplet.
Save it as a droplet.
chorus begins
Then drag a file and drop it;
Just drag a file and drop.
Alyn Kelley has a pretty voice

Let me show you how to do it.
I think you’ll think it’s fun.
(ooh ooh oo)
It’s the perfect way to automate your workflow, baby.
You’ll be glad you did it when we’re done.

Start with a complex technique
(ooh ooh etc)
that you wanna do a lot.
Bring up the Actions palette;
Record that technique on the spot.
Give it care and give it thought.
The T’s you cross the I’s you dot.
Give it everything you got.
(everything you got)

Now revert your image
(ah ah ert)
and play the action back.
Troubleshoot, make sure it works;
more wings
Test that your action is on track.
(I’m on tra-ack)
Cuz if it’s not, it ain’t worth Jack.
(ain’t worth Ja-a-ack)
They’ll all think that you’re on crack.
(I’m on crack)
A crack ho working on your back
(aaaa, on my back)
and on the weekends shooting smack.
(shooting smack)
Be sure to play that action back.
(play that action back)

Now you’re ready
to choose this command here.
Check these boxes, quick!
Do it for me, Dear.
Change these settings
any way that you desire.
Then click OK.
(okay!)
Do it now, it’s do or dire;
And your droplet will transpire.
(ah ha ha)
Be not afraid, I’m your town crier.
(ah ah ah ha ha)
You’re ’bout to set the world on fire.
(set the world on fire)
vague wing beatings

Save it as a droplet.
Save it as a droplet.
(just drag a file and drop)
(set my world on fire)
Save it as a droplet.
distant pig squeal
Save it as a droplet.
Save it as a droplet.
save or die trying
(just drag and file and drop)
(set my world on fire, now set my, set my world on fire)
Save it as a droplet.
give unto me the droplet that is mine
Save it as a droplet.
(just drag a file and drop)

nighty night seagulls

The actual real Sound of Silence is an almost impossibly great song. But for just a moment, imagine Art and Paul are singing “Sound of Droplets.” That would be this, yes?