Tonight I was driving back from lynda.com to Room 101 at my beloved Blue Iguana after a long but uneventful evening of recording the final Photoshop Top 40 videos. And I had an epiphany. We needed a Thursday post. (Colleen and I got confused and posted Martini Hour on Wednesday—I can’t believe none of you noticed!) So I thought I’d put pen to screen and see what you think:
Imagine you die and not only do you get to be reincarnated, but you also get to choose who and when. I would come back as a Plains Indian in the 16th century, before the Train Demons came with their superior technology.
I don’t actually know much about the Plains People. According to my dim recollection of “Dances with Wolves,” their ranks included a cross-dresser, so they must have been an open-minded race. Better, they had a ready and reliable food source: bison. Here’s my off-the-wall (ha!) rendering of me as a bison hunter.
(Click the image for high-res with narrative. The original photo is #419301 from Jean-Michel Alibaud over at Fotolia.)
Being an animal that subsists on the generosity of another strikes me as the perfect lifestyle. You eat bison, you make stuff from bison leftovers, and you live in shelters woven from bison. Plus, there’s the thrill of hunting bison and maybe even getting gored by one, which would get the old adrenalin pumping that’s for sure. Oh, the glory of emerging from battle covered in my life source’s blood! And this from a man who has never killed a mammal in his entire life. Except that time I had to put my cat down, but in all fairness, the vet did that.
Then I would return to my good woman, who presumably would know how to do a thing or two with maize.
I don’t know what that last sentence means either, but otherwise, I am altogether serious. Quite obviously I spent countless minutes on this post. so I hope you like it.
Call Ted Turner
I think Ted owns the majority of bison on his ranches. Less a romantic notion for the squaws, who would have to chew the skin for ages to make it tender, but thrilling for the guys I’d bet. I think most of the Indians were open minded, some of the things Colombus’s men did to the people of Haiti are really horrific. In fact most open-minded cultures and religions get wiped out by aggessive cultures, which is, sadly, what remains today - intolerance.
I’d come back as Sparticus but know when to quit.
Deke has four toes! I KNEW it!
Alas, last night, I too was returning from a long evening of recording at lynda.com East (on a title of which I am not at liberty to speak about just yet).
I’d come back as Moses, but would have used Smart Objects when designing the tablets so that they would be non-destructible…
Mordy Golding
http://rwillustrator.blogspot.com
My Romantic Epiphany
Seth Rogen and Judd Appatow are part of the glass ceiling (my epiphany)!?
to any feminists, one’s that are truly read on the subject, and agree because they have come to the honest conclusion that women’s rights were still relevant despite what their televisions told them - you know the messages these movies send.
Yes, but that’s because
Moses supposes his toses are roses.
But I have it on good authority: Moses supposes erroneously.
Will you redo this post and
Please put that into a lingo that a knuckle dragging, hair grabbing, image tweaking Man can understand? I’m not truly read on the subject of which you speak… and further more, I need to gain weight, not get rid of it!
Lets stick to the subject at hand shall we? Digital Art I think… Damn, you got me all conflicted… NOT!
Rock on Deke!
But…
Did Moses supposes he created those toses?
Yes
There is 1 in every crowd… lol
Joliese tan
Epiphany means showing or revealing, so I’d say it refers to lovers going public. If they were keeping their affair secret, they’d tell the world when they reached epiphany - or someone else who knew about it would tell all .
Joliese tan
digital editing and killing mammals
.Deke..well i’ve never returned to a blue iguana from recording at lynda.com, but here in the jungle woods of the va mountains my good woman and i have been working hard on digital editing and watching lynda.com…when we look out onto the flood plain delta of our lower field and see tasty mammals eating our spinach. I switch from the nikon d300 to the nikon 55mm 3x9.5 scope - take a few deep breaths and .....slowly squeeze…well the deadly part you can guess. I still shake and tremble at actually taking life… a little pit in the stomach - but it is food..and i try to man up to being the tough guy hunter. Non destructive smart objects are so much easier!
Never looks as good as Deke in the loin cloth above, but it has happened shirtless and barefoot in my sweats…
Then my good woman and i get several hours (4hrs or more actually) of ...well rather tedious knife sharpening bloody activity which yields fresh meat and hide. Oddly in a primal way - quite romantic, as i look into the very pleased eyes of my good woman who not only can do a thing or two with maize but with the wild plants and weeds as well. Must be something very sexy to a woman knowing there is plenty of fresh good food. So…The meat to the freezer, and the hide to the salt, the entrails back to the earth…and fresh sausage for breakfast…because by now the sun is coming up..
michael
btw - where was Mordy during your escapade - hearing you almost killed him once I would be surprised he was anywhere near you with a bow and arrow drawn- certainly not close enough to count your toes
digital editing and killing mammals
Sorry I don’t have a glyph or painting - need a photo?.
Jenny
Nice Post
Regards
Jenny
We take our skin for
We take our skin for granted, and we engage in harmful habits that destroy our skin. Clothes are expendable; you can always buy new clothes. You cannot replace your skin. Beginning now, treat your skin better and it will, in turn, treat you better!
self tanner